Thoughts

I don’t know why I never write on here anymore.

I wish I was still in high school. I miss it more than anyone else I know.

I also hate this cold weather. I wish it was spring and I really wish it was summer. Everyone keeps talking about summer plans and I get excited right along with them but in an instant I remember I no longer get a summer break. I'm bummed out by the fact that my days at the lake or creek, Indian falls, prajna, dive in, late nights out on the deck, wine at Keeneland… all will be limited. I sort of wish that I still worked at the tanning bed. It was such an important part of our summer plans and rituals, it will be odd not to have it this year.

I wish my niece would win her battle with cancer. It just breaks my heart to know that everyday she is struggling even though she somehow finds the strength to keep fighting this war. Keep praying.

When I was in the hospital to see Natalie and her precious new baby boy Boston, the visit struck this feeling in me; how odd it is that all under the same roof people are dying while people are being born. How at the same time and place the two most important things, life and death are taking place. To think about it sends shivers up and down your spine. With that sad God bless that new child and his parents. I am so happy that Natalie made it through.

I have been going to the gym. My biggest goal is to get off my lazy ass up and do something. I want to be fit and tone, however that is just a want. Hopefully Ill stick to it and be a badass body builder. HAHA! In All honesty I would love to be ripped and toned.

I hate my day job. I am bored and annoyed all day long. I want to have a job that I love, that I learn from everyday, that makes me happy, and that I can meet and interact with all kinds of people. If you’re going to spend most of you limited days on this earth working you may as well do something you love.

I hate feeling alone all the time. I wish I were closer to all my friends like how I used to be. When you know they would be there no matter what ever night. I have nothing really to come home to. I'm always trying to find something to do that will fill up my time. It helps me not to remember how much I hate the living situation I'm currently in and how much I wish the old me and life would come back to stay. I would love to drink from that youth fountain in the novel Tuck Everlasting, to be young forever. The fact that we all must age, that I must grow older frightens me.