Another Year

Its hard to believe that my birthday is tomorrow. I look back on the previous year and see all the changes my life has made. If I could go back I would do it in a heart beat. I want to feel alive again. Now I just sit at this desk everyday wondering when God will give me a break. As everyone knows I miss high school, I miss the carefree of it all. I felt like when I were to graduate in less than two months I would find my purpose. Now I feel I am living a life for which I have stuck myself in. Something I cant walk away from for I will not survive but a place that brings as much happiness to me as headache. How do you find the resources to do what you love when there are none. I have no other option, I must work. Even now I make more money than anyone else my age but I still dont have enough to do anything I remotely want to do in life. I strive for change and I have been stuck in this pattern for longer than 6 months. Im dying inside, dying a unhappy person. We are all dying each day is one day closer to our death. It scares me because I have no idea when my last day is and I am afraid that i wont get to experience the things I want to do, to make a difference in this world.

To me a birthday is just another year. Now its not a celebration but a reminder that is another wasted year. Another 365 days that I spent most of them uphappy, because I'm here, and sitting in behind this desk is NOT where I want to be. I hope some major changes happen to me in the 19th year on the world, good changes.

On the bright side of sitting at a front desk for 10 hours a day its Administrative Professionals Day which means we get FREE lunch at Malones and pretty flowers!