Rainy Day

I always say I need to write but I never do. I am so ready for summer. The thought of summer being so close keeps me going. The thought of putting my feet into Sugar Creek excites me like no other. Or for once being able to sit outside of Main & Maple and watch all of Nicholasville drive by. The calmest I ever feel is laying on the cool ground with the sun kissing my skin as is the good Lord put a blanket overtop of me, feeling in that moment safe and warm. I love that feeling, spring and summer is happiness.

I wish I had an exciting life, where I could tell all the great things that happened in a day’s time but as my days on earth increase they seem more and more uneventful and useless. I need some kind of change. The most recent time I felt alive is when I had a tattoo gun penetrate against my skin. To feel a certain kind of controlled exhilarating pain brings me comfort, to know that I am still human, I still exist, I am still alive. It allows me to breathe heavier, noticeable to the eye, allows my heart to beat hard in the canal of my chest, to pulsate my body allowing the blood rush and pump. It’s an amazing feeling. It’s hard to explain exactly how I feel, how this certain emotion comes over me when lying in a tattoo chair. How I can feel controlled, feel adrenaline, feel pain, feel joy, feel terror… its just an incredible time frame. When I’m done I look at something beautiful, something that means a great deal to me. It also documents those moments when I was lying there; allows me to remember “I am alive”.

Well I'm ready for another one. My new one is beautiful and I can’t wait to add on to it. As soon as the artist was finished I already felt that I owned this orchid…that is was a part of me. I realize that a rib cage tattoo is painful but I am so down and ready for it, however my bank account isn’t. I am not one to get a tattoo just for the hell of it. Its an experience to me, its heartfelt, its endurance and passion… its beautiful.

All though I do realize I might be really crazy. J but that’s okay because I'm just me!