When it dark turns to light.

Good Morning World!

Yesterday was an amazing day. With a simple text I felt full again rather than empty. My dad actually took the time out of his day and had lunch with me. I got to spend the evening with my most favorite people. I know I shouldn't rely on others for my happiness but people that make me fill this good, its hard not to need it. With me its almost like a craving I have for people. The more people I'm surrounded by the better. I rather be with someone all minutes of the day then to be alone.

Another thought that I have this morning is maybe in the end everything will all work out in my favor. I've but my entire self to try to make this relationship work, to make him see that I'm the one. What if I've fought so long and hard that it will pay of. At the surface of me I breath in crisp air, knowing I've alive and everything is okay but in the depths on me I breath in hot heavy air, knowing I'm about to die. Gasping for the air that is there but is so thick I can't inhale; waiting for that last draw where my hopes, promises, strength terminates. Do I love him? You bet! With all my heart but will love be enough? Is love ever just enough? I also wonder where are the signs I follow? If I said had a way to know what God wants me to do it would all be over.... Or would it? How many times have I hit rock bottom in this relationship? Apparently when I hit all I do is bounce, to hit again, and then jump right back before i hit again. When will I be able to climb rather than bounce my way to the top?

I with all the confusion in my life I want to thank God for this glorious day. Even though its grey, cold, and rainy just knowing that by a push of two hands there is beauty, blue, and sun underneath the ugly is an amazing feeling all its own. Its give the statement "inner beauty is what matters" a true meaning. And besides if we had wonderful weather all the time then it wouldn't excite us as much or makes us as happy as it does when we have to wait for it!

Tip for the day: got deodorant on your cloths? Take a pair of nylon panty hose and rub the deodorant streak. I promise it will look as good as new! :)